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Friday, April 21, 2006

sacked out

Today Dylan had a half day at daycare. It was harder on me than on Dylan, as he loves playing with the other kids and seems to really enjoy his time there. I dropped him off this morning for just a few hours (part of his "transitioning" schedule) and went to run a few errands. I literally felt sick about leaving him and as I thought about it, I realized that I don't like the idea that someone else is going to be scooping him up to dry his tears when he falls down and I might miss out on his first word or few steps.

I know deep down that him being at daycare just two days a week won't make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things, but I worry. He is growing up so fast, it seems, and I don't want to miss out on a single moment of the wonder of watching him learn and explore and exhange those precious smiles that he shares with me as he discovers the world around him for the first time.

So today after I picked him up, we drove off to the mall to meet some friends for a while. When we got back home, he was sound asleep in the backseat. I fully expected for him to wake up as soon as I unhooked his seatbelt to carry him inside... but he didn't. He just rested his tired head on my shoulder and fell back asleep.

I took him over to the couch and drank in those wonderful moments, feeling him fall deeper asleep and watching the little rise and fall of his chest with each breath. It was perfect. I wouldn't have traded those moments for all the whiskey in Ireland.

And when Ryan got home, Dylan was still sound asleep enough for daddy to steal some snuggles as well while I made dinner.


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