Arthur

Tonight after leaving the annual Christmas party at Ryan's boss's house, on our drive home, we came upon an accident with a man lying in the road and an Explorer nearby. Since I know CPR, I got out of the car to "help" initially. I can barely put it into words, but it was the most horrible thing I've ever seen and I'm glad that Dylan and Ryan were in the car and didn't have to see what I saw. We were one of the first cars to pull over and I was probably the second person to walk up and see if the man was ok. He wasn't. After replaying the evenings events over and over in my head probably 15 times now I still can't make sense of any of it. I just felt so helpless standing there, wanting to do CPR so badly, but not being able to bring myself to do it with all the blood (in the back of my mind I think I already knew that it was too late). Once they pulled the sheet over him and I realized that he was gone, I cried because I felt like I should have done something, anything. The policeman that I talked to told me that I couldn't have done anything to save him and that he was apparently thrown from his car and drunk. It felt so cold and lonely out there. He deserved better than that. Anyone does.
I don't know why I was there. I keep asking myself why we drove that way home (because we've never been that far along Huntington Drive before and were just trying to find a gas station and passed the road accidently that we needed to turn on just before we came upon the accident). I don't even know why I am writing this now, except to tell those that I love that I'll never be able to forget the images of tonight and that man bleeding to death before my eyes... and how precious and fragile life is. And how I want each of you reading this to vow to NEVER drink and drive, ALWAYS wear your seatbelt, and drive CAREFULLY. Please promise me that.
And now I think I'm going to go hug my husband... again. Very tightly. Goodnight.