Thou shall not covet

I usually don't blog about this type of thing, but something I heard at church this past week really spoke to me and I thought I'd share.
The sermon was from Exodus 20:17 - which is the commandment to not covet.
Coveting is defined as an unhealthy longing for something that does not belong to us.
And the part that spoke most to me was the following:
The things we covet will let us down. They will fail us; they will never last. And even if we reach them, they won't satisfy.
Notice how the people we look at as 'having it all' seem to still want more? That's the part that made me think, and has kept me thinking this week.
The more free we think we will become with achieving more, the less free we actually are. And we eventually will find that we are being controlled by those desires - fighting to hold onto the things and status that we gain through those efforts.
The bottom line is that only Christ can satisfy the deep longings of our hearts. The contentment with Jesus (once one has that) does not fade. The acceptance with Christ only gets better and better. The example that was given is to look at the picture of marriage with time: acceptance grows.
Looking deeper into my heart, I find myself struggling with my desires for certain 'things' - and living in LA doesn't help my focus. I'm surrounded by millions of people scrambling for status, wealth, homes, daycare, jobs, honor, glory, good looks, fancy cars, parking spots, and the like. I find myself swimming in desires for what isn't mine. Coveting.
And so my thoughts are settling here: I know that I cannot stop my desire for the things of this world just by deciding to do so. I need to replace it with something more powerful.
I need to think more about how God has brought us to the place where he wants us to be. And be content with that. And enjoy what He has blessed us with in this moment today.

I can do it myself dammit

We are rounding the developmental corner into the land of the terrible twos...

Dylan has definitely entered the stage where it is insulting to attempt to help him feed himself. And isn't he so graceful with that spoon? (And let me just state for the record that Ryan and I both lean a bit towards the clean-freak side of the fence, so when food gets flung off the side of his highchair, you can just imagine how it makes our skin crawl)!

And one of his favorite games is to unpack my cabinets, tossing my cutting boards and pans into the center of the kitchen floor all around himself. Oh, and don't let me forget to tell you how the smoke detector has gone off (repeatedly now) after Dylan has managed to crank the oven dial over to "clean." We have installed an oven lock and multiple cabinet locks, but the oven dials are still fairly accessible to a highly motivated toddler, I have recently learned. Thankfully none of our dinners have been ruined as a result, but we have had a few close calls.

Grandmummy and Grandpapa

Like I mentioned in the previous post, my parents came down for a visit this past week.

It was a quick trip, but still great for Dylan to get some quality time with his Grandmummy and Grandpapa. My dad had a dentist appointment down here in LA, so they came by afterwards for the night and following day.
Those tender moments between grandchildren and their grandparents are so special and I'm thankful for the afternoon that we all could share. Our original plans included a walk over to the park, but it turned out to be a rainy day, so we all stayed inside. In the end, I think Dylan got to enjoy more one-on-one time with his grandparents and I'm glad for that.

We hope to make a trip up north to visit them and my sister in the next couple months. And since both my nephew Andrew's birthday and my birthdays are on the same day at the end of next month, we are planning to all meet up in Santa Barbara to all celebrate together.

Oh, and today I spent a good part of the afternoon sorting through a random box filled with old letters, pictures, and drawings I had saved from long, long ago and forgot about until today when I decided that it needed to be opened. There were letters from my best friend at 11 years old, pictures from my 5th grade Catalina trip, letters and pictures from my high school boyfriends from 9th, 10th, and 11th grade... prom pictures, dance recital pictures, calculus notes, a 12 year old's new year's resolutions, swim team pictures, birthday cards, journal notebooks, and a few of my old horse drawings. Each picture and card surfaced a flood of memories, which I later shared with Ryan while Dylan napped and the sun set slowly outside. It was an afternoon for reminiscence and reflecting on what shaped me into the person I am today.

(and she opens another yogurt)

As of Wednesday night, I've started taking Zantac twice a day to see if that helps with the "acid reflux" problem the doctor determined that I have. So far I've felt better overall, but the mornings and late evenings are hard still. I feel nauseated with tummy cramping. And no, I'm not pregnant.
And I've started eating more yogurt, which apparently can't hurt with all those live "active cultures" in it to perhaps boost my natural immunities within my digestive tract. According to the probiotics school of thought, increasing your intake of healthy bacteria will spur better GI health. I don't know of any specific supplements to take (do any of you take/recommend a specific type or brand?), so I'm sticking to yogurt for now and will see if it helps.
Here's to hoping it does.

p.s. My parents came down to visit us and we had a lovely time. Dylan had fun tumbling and chasing around my mom. And he soaked up the attention of my dad, while building "carrier ships" out of Legos, reading books, and driving around his toy cars. Pictures to follow here soon, I promise.

nope and nope

Got a call back from the doctor's office today and both of the blood tests they did came back negative. So no h.pylori and my electrolyte panel was normal, I suppose. So that's not the cause of all this feeling like super-doodoo. I still need to wait for the you-know-what results to come back sometime later this week or early next week (by Monday, I hope). Dropping off my samples yesterday was all too uncomfortable, standing at the reception desk of the lab, explaining what I had there in the bag to Mr. Lab-dude. It is irritating to not know what is causing all this nausea and feeling a bit helpless in a solution to the problem. Dylan is still coughing and wheezing and a bit out of sorts himself. We make a joyful pair today. I can see why Ryan might have been half excited to leave and go to work this morning.
Well, wish us luck. May the best toddler/parent win - or maybe take a nap! (My personal vote is to be able to take a shower today, and maybe stay sane. Is that too much to ask?)

P.S. Dylan's top right molar has popped through. Just noticed it last night. And my oh my, are those molars big! Maybe that's to blame for the heightened fussiness and lack of sleep.
So to date: he has four top teeth, three bottoms (the fourth seems to be hiding out indefinitely), two top 1st year molars, and the left bottom 1st year molar. All in all, 10 teeth!

sick and tired of...

...being sick and tired.

This morning I awoke with Stomach Flu Part IV. F-O-U-R times in 3 months, ladies and gentlemen. I'm not kidding here. So I called and got myself an appointment this afternoon to see a doctor. Long story short: They don't know what it is. Apparently my digestive tract isn't functioning properly and could possibly be due to any of the following:
1. stress (no duh)
2. acid reflux (not sure if that can cause aches and diarrhea and extreme nausea, but I'm not the doctor here, obviously)
3. bacteria/infection (for which I get the privilege of collecting a very fun three samples of you-know-what to deposit at the lab later this week for further analysis)

I'm just guessing that it being number 3 would be too easy (and therefore won't show up with the tests- that'd be too nice) and so it's probably a combination of factors. Factors which I don't understand. Factors which 10 minutes wasn't enough to sort through and really clarify what she was thinking. And in those 10 minutes of talking to me, this doctor felt quite confident that it is stress and reflux. Oh, and something making my digestive tract all screwy. And to make me more "stressed" was the concept that a doctor who really didn't listen to much of what I was saying, can determine the problem and prescribe me some Pepcid and send me out the door. Now, if she's right, then would acid reflux cause body aches and dizziness and nausea and diarrhea? I really doubt that. And again, I'm not a doctor. But I know what my body feels like.
I'm so frustrated with the healthcare system right now. I could puke. Literally.

p.s. Ryan is THE BEST. I couldn't have gotten through today with Dylan not having daycare due to the holiday and my having to stay home from work. I love you, Ryan.

Day with Dad

Yesterday (Saturday) Briana had to work so I had Dylan for the day. We bummed around the house in the morning; he played, ate breakfast. Here's a few pics of him playing with his toy food (from Kathy). These are wood versions of fruit and vegetables with velcro so he can "cut" the food in half with the toy knife that came with the set (don't worry, its blunt and also made of wood).
Later we picked up some lunch and met mommy during her lunch break. We went around the corner to the park for Dylan to play on the playground.

We capped the day with a bubble-bath. I was in the tub with him, but we censored those pictures. I'm sure you won't mind!

74 wpm

For those of you who watch The Office, have you seen the one where Jim is all proud of himself for learning that he can type 65 wpm and tells Pam? And then Pam informs him that she can type 90 wpm? Yeah, well tonight I was either bored or gluttoned for self-punishment and found a little website that calculates your typing speed:
And wanna know what the silly website determined that mine was? 74 words per minute. Not bad considering that I'm sitting in bed with the computer on my lap.

And since I've already referenced one of our favorite Love Thursday shows, I can't avoid the elephant in the room: Grey's Anatomy! Can you believe that ending? Do you think Meredith is really dead? And if so, will the producers/writers of the show actually take into account that she had been without oxygen for some time down there, anoxic and hypothermic? Will she be brain damaged or will she just wake up, yawn, and make some insightful comment about the full circle of things in her life?

And as both Ryan and our friend, Kathy, pointed out tonight: If she dies, will they have to change the name of the show?

Love (Laundry) Thursday

My little helper. He loves to help me load and unload the laundry. (Each time, carefully checking that his beloved blankie isn't in there - if so, he protests).

My favorite part is how serious he is about the loading and unloading job. He has absolutely no clue besides moving stuff back and forth, and he's so diligent, grunting as he works because the clothes are so heavy for him to carry. And every so often I find a stray sock or shirt tossed inappropriately into the trash or back into the dirty/clean clothes.

price of things

A dear blogger-friend of mine, Mella, posted this insightful piece today about the balance and questions of a young mother, wife, and friend. It reminded me of what I was trying to say back in my post about the "constant juggle" - and how much better she is at expressing her thoughts. And her description of how she's rediscovered the things of this world through the eyes of her children is fabulous.
No wonder her writing is being published in Family Circle soon.

not so much of a nap

We went to the Caltech campus today with Ryan before dinner so he could check on some things at lab.

Dylan didn't take much of a nap today (sat in his crib for over an hour though and sang, chatted, and jumped up and down though), so we figured he needed to burn off some steam before bedtime.

He loved running around, checked out the turtles and frogs in the reflecting ponds, and the lighting was beautiful for pictures (of course we took a few - how could we not?)

Dylan really wore himself out, running around and playing with daddy. I love how lush green the grass always is at the Caltech campus... even in February!


And after all that running around, Dylan ate a nice big dinner, took a bath (tried to blow bubbles in the tub water, but still hasn't figured that one out), and read some books with mommy and daddy in their room. And now that he is sleeping (sigh) for the night, Ryan and I are fixing to watch ourselves a movie and enjoy the remainder of our weekend.

Toddler Bowl

On Sunday we went to Ana & Thom's house to watch the Superbowl with Briana's "Make and Take" group and their families.
All in all, there were 8 families represented, meaning that there were 8 toddlers (aged 13-20 months old) running around. We had a great time.
At halftime we all played a friendly "Not So Newlywed Game" and "Superbowl Trivia" - revealing lots of fun information about our couple friends.
The daddies piled up on the couches to watch the game.
The toddlers ran around claiming Rowan's various toys as 'mine' however they could.

And the mommies bounced between watching the game, visiting, and playing outside with the kiddos in the gorgeous Los Angeles weather. (yeah, it was 80 degrees out here!)

What the heck?

The Babykeeper. It seems like a "good enough idea" but I can just imagine Dylan hanging there, kicking the door (bang bang bang), screaming at me whilst I pee.

Not for us.

But I can only guess that some moms are actually going to try this out. What ever happened to keeping them in the stroller and using the handicapped stall? That's my plan. At least until he's 12. Oh wait, maybe that's a bit too extreme. How about 10 then? (she chuckles to herself)

"helping" mama

So maybe he wasn't "helping" per se. But he sure thought he was being helpful. He's into unpacking things lately. Like for instance, he dumped out ALL of his legos this afternoon all over the livingroom floor just before we were about to leave for my Stroller Strides class that I teach. And then he "unpacked" the tub with all his toys and washcloth and even a few cupfuls of water (that is, until I figured out his plan to put EVERYTHING outside the tub and took his water-dumping device away). And how he takes all his books each night before bed and methodically places them all around himself on the floor next to his bookshelf. Yeah, I definitely see a trend here.
And as annoying as it can be, I keep reminding me that one day I'll look back at this phase and miss it. And I try to enjoy each of his little milestones, and appreciate them.... All while I pick up each and every lego/outfit/bathtoy. Yup.


And here he is with his darling blankie. He really hates to brush his teeth (any ideas out there on how to make him more agreeable? Our pediatrician really thinks we need to push this issue before his mouth rots and he whithers away apparently...), but he loves to chew on his blankie. Makes us kind of happy when we see him do it because it rubs against his teeth and maybe, just maybe, does some "brushing" of it's own for us. We are wishfully thinking so, at least.

Love Thursday - First Date

The place we went on our first date, 8 years ago, in San Diego. Ryan ordered a hot chocolate. I ordered a latte. He said he didn't like coffee and I encouraged him to at least try mine. He fell in love... with both of us. And this time he got the latte and I got the hot chocolate. Funny how things turned out, isn't it?