Dylan,
I snuck into your room just now while you were sleeping. You took over an hour to lull and sing-song chatter yourself to sleep for your nap today, which I actually enjoyed listening to despite still being concerned about you ending up with a nap at all today.
After you quieted down and I was sure you'd fallen asleep, I came into your room and watched my little boy sleep. I noted each precious image in my mind: Your perfect cherry-red rosebud lips pressed together. The rise and fall of your back with each breath. Your beautiful blonde highlighted hair catching the light of the dimmed room through the blinds. Your tanned legs folded underneath you, bottom sticking up in the air. Your arms curled underneath your tummy, snuggled in around your blankie.
I wanted so badly to pick you up and hold you in my arms, knowing that these moments of your childhood will oneday pass and I'll ache to have you in my arms again. I didn't. You need your sleep. We had a long morning together after playing at the park and lunch with Daddy at work. And we have our Make and Take playgroup today in another hour. So I let you be so you could sleep.
However I did sit down next to your crib on your little bear-chair and watched you for a while.
I imagined how one day you'll outgrow your crib and move onto a big-boy bed. One day you'll push me away from snuggling you in favor of playing with your friends, claiming your independence. One day you won't look over your shoulder at me to share in a playful smile that comes from a day full of shared moments together. One day you'll outgrow your blankie. One day you'll go to kindergarten. And one day you'll eventually drive off to college and bring home the girl you will marry.
One day.
But you'll always be my little boy. My precious little angel. And I'll always love you with my whole heart and soul.
And for now, I'm going to soak in these moments and watch you sleep.
xoxo,
Mommy
Labels: letters, memories