Happy Birthday Dylan!

Today Dylan is THREE.

How do I put my feelings/thoughts into words? While Baby Addie sleeps, I'll do my best...

My baby boy is growing up. In a good way, but yet my heart aches. I know it's because of the changes that have occured this past week. It's a combination of my desire to have things as they were before, being the person who is teaching him, playing with him, and singing him to sleep at night - and feeling the changes all around us, transitioning our family from one of three to four now that our sweet baby girl has arrived.

He's growing up. He put on his clothes this morning nearly by himself as I sat and nursed his newborn sister, amazed how much he can do on his own when I can't help him. It seems he has discovered imaginative play overnight, building 'caves' with his toys and airports to Mexico in the kitchen. He sits in a regular chair now at the dinner table and we've put away his booster seat. He doesn't wear a bib anymore.

He's growing up. He's a great big brother, asking how 'baby Addie' is and wanting to help bathe her, dress her, change her, feed her. Loving her. Wanting to keep her 'cozy and safe' whenever he's around her.

But he's still my baby boy. Last night I went into his room after we was already asleep and uncovered his sweaty head from his covers, pulled him into my arms and rocked him. Tears came to my eyes as I thought about how fast he's growing up, how fast he's becoming more independent. I leaned in close and breathed in the sweet smell of shampoo in his hair and kissed his soft neck and face. I thought about how much his world has changed in the past 6 days, how much our family has changed. And at the same moment in time, I was happy and sad and scared and falling in love all over again with my son.

He's still my baby boy. He hugged me and kissed me at preschool as I dropped him off, looking at me from the back seat as we drove there, talking about which 'friends' he'd see today at school.

And tonight when we celebrate his third birthday with ice-cream-cake and pizza, I know my heart will be happy, knowing that he'll always be my son... regardless of his age. And for now I'm going to soak in this time, tantrums and all, because it's only for a season and I love this season of my life!